once again

Staring down the dark and dusty road of anxiety, not knowing where I'm headed, although I do have some ideas. Meanwhile the hoops and hurdles which trouble me puzzle me, I burn the candle at both ends, at times feel as though I am destined for a life filled with obesity and alcoholism, and fucking wisdom teeth. Damnit. Constant underestimation of myself and possibly irrational assessments of expectations are likely the root of my current duress. Though the inability to comprehend a text which seemed so clear to me two days ago haunts my intellectual confidence as well. What haunts me most however is my goddamn inability to manage my time. I know what I need to do, and when it comes down to the line I simply dont do it. Somehow I've scraped by this far with good grades and friends and whatnot....but I'll be goddamned if my dad wasn't right many years ago telling me "YOU'RE SETTING YOURSELF UP FOR FAILURE" though it made me feel like shit even at the time I could detect some possible truth to the statement. I am a creative person but have very little motivation to create. I used to be in shape but I have even less motivation to be that. And here I am whining about it on the internet like a little bitch. I guess writing it down is therapeutic for me. I guess...what am I saying that for, I know it is, thats the whole reason this damn blog exists...that and other things, perhaps because I had a pretentious moment where I thought some insight of mine might change someone's life. I read a lot of this stuff and laugh, you know...I overlook so many things staring me in the face.