Taking a step outside...myself

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On a day such as this, that which starts off well, is so-so and it's becomings progressively worse, I could not retain my head.

Cold, wet, rainy, bike crash, shitty technology, nagging by ladies I do not formally know...

those are some of the adjectives and verbs which can describe this day. And when I said verbs, I was meaning to say nouns, so please substitute it respectively.

I was internally burning, my body could not react in a way other than provoking my mind, whichever part it is, that causes me to speak; to utter numerous combinations of curse words. "FUCK THIS SHIT" "FUCK ME" "GOD, FUCK IT ALL RIGHT NOW" et cetera. It led me to ponder myself. What was I doing? Aside from being a nearly broke college student I can not think of anything else that is not wonderful at this time of my life. I looked at myself from a birdseye view. I'm only a cultivation of matter, but as one once said, Matter is never without spirit, and spirit is never without matter. Im not so sure about the latter half of that quote, but focusing on the primary segment: i am not an insignificant speck of matter. Even if I were to be stranded in the middle of the ocean, alone, starving to death, I would merely be insignificant to my immediate surroundings. Numerous others would be directly affected in one way or another due to my disappearance. Who I am matters, to some degree. I took some deep breaths, exchanged formalities and informalities with some comrades while inhaling fumes of cancer. I took a walk. My cooler head has prevailed, once again my perceptions are intact with content.

To label this entry as narcissistic would be a deep misunderstanding; and if one should take it as such, please, I will be happy to explain.

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