Ego, again.

So let me get this straight, my ego is essentially the bane of my existance, my ego is what causes all of my suffering and pain. I realize that, but simultaneously, my ego is what drives me to do certain things. One might say that doing things to feed my ego is a false way to center myself, that I should be doing things for myself. But I have been raised to believe that it is bad to be selfish! I dont do things merely for myself! I do things for others, and it makes me feel good to do these things! I like doing people favors, that is why I am often too nice (in my opinion, anyways). Again, they might argue that my own self should be the motivation behind doing people favors, well they have me there, although I will argue right back that things dont always work that way, sometimes you owe people, etc. My thoughts are jumbling, like a paper jam in a printer, like a blood clot waiting to happen. Before such a thing happens I will safely work my way out of this hole/ loss of train of thought by saying that EGO IS A MECHANISM OF SURVIVAL! Damn.